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( ridiculously kind of him, as nat had no clue how to broach the subject. she should know better — travis is literally the best person she knows. of course he’s been worried. )
hey
yeah im good. sorry about everything. especially if i hurt you
i didn’t mean to
( an awkward pause — )
you ok?
hey
yeah im good. sorry about everything. especially if i hurt you
i didn’t mean to
( an awkward pause — )
you ok?
( eating people. it's like a knife, and nat is immediately defensive — we were starving, she thinks. we wouldn't do it otherwise.
but the fact is: someone told him something. unless there are other teenaged cannibals running around here somewhere, that means one of hers squealed, after they all promised not to. nat knows exactly who she thinks it was. )
no
what the fuck are you talking about?
but the fact is: someone told him something. unless there are other teenaged cannibals running around here somewhere, that means one of hers squealed, after they all promised not to. nat knows exactly who she thinks it was. )
no
what the fuck are you talking about?
[ a burst of messages sent in quick succession: ]
Nat I can’t wake Shauna up idk what’s wrong
Nat??????? Are you awake?
Nat wake up please I need help IDK what to do
She’s breathing and warm and everything but nothing’s working I’m scared
NAT????????????
[ there’s a brief reprieve where jackie goes to check on the others in their rooms. ]
OK it’s happened to you too so IDK I guess text meif when you wake up
I’m gonna keep trying
I’m gonna watch over you all
I hope you’re ok
Nat I can’t wake Shauna up idk what’s wrong
Nat??????? Are you awake?
Nat wake up please I need help IDK what to do
She’s breathing and warm and everything but nothing’s working I’m scared
NAT????????????
[ there’s a brief reprieve where jackie goes to check on the others in their rooms. ]
OK it’s happened to you too so IDK I guess text me
I’m gonna watch over you all
I hope you’re ok
[ She thinks, at about the same moment she's lifting her hand to knock at the door, that she probably should have texted first and given Natalie some warning before just... showing up. But it's too late; her head is still swimming with a thousand different feelings and almost all of them are bad ones, and her phone had been the last thing on her mind until just now.
It'd been more important to just... get out, away from the room she's been sharing with Shauna and Jackie, so Melissa had done that—just gone without taking any of her shit, started walking, eventually ended up here.
She probably looks fucking crazy, eyes all red rimmed from trying not to cry and hair still messed up from when she'd fallen asleep however many days ago. She feels pretty fucking crazy. The past month has stacked up on the memories she just dreamed about (lived through?) and all the shit that came before, and now it feels like it's all about to collapse if she's not careful.
Nat probably hates her, anyway, so does it matter what she looks like?
As soon as the door opens Melissa intends to launch into it, apologize before Nat can slam the door in her face and lock it, but as soon as she opens her mouth she realizes just how much shit she needs to be apologizing for. It's enough that I'm really fucking sorry doesn't seem like it remotely covers it. ]
I—um, [ she manages instead. Barely. Pathetic, stupid loser. ] Are you busy?
It'd been more important to just... get out, away from the room she's been sharing with Shauna and Jackie, so Melissa had done that—just gone without taking any of her shit, started walking, eventually ended up here.
She probably looks fucking crazy, eyes all red rimmed from trying not to cry and hair still messed up from when she'd fallen asleep however many days ago. She feels pretty fucking crazy. The past month has stacked up on the memories she just dreamed about (lived through?) and all the shit that came before, and now it feels like it's all about to collapse if she's not careful.
Nat probably hates her, anyway, so does it matter what she looks like?
As soon as the door opens Melissa intends to launch into it, apologize before Nat can slam the door in her face and lock it, but as soon as she opens her mouth she realizes just how much shit she needs to be apologizing for. It's enough that I'm really fucking sorry doesn't seem like it remotely covers it. ]
I—um, [ she manages instead. Barely. Pathetic, stupid loser. ] Are you busy?
( of all the people nat might expect to wander their way to her door, melissa finds her way to the bottom of the list — not for any reason in particular, besides the obvious them and us mentality that fissures through their group of yellowjackets, where melissa is decidedly them. she expects little from the girls in the wake of last month, moreso settling into the comfortable lull of denial, refusal, and intoxication, all of nat's favorite coping mechanisms. shauna would make more sense — she'd spot something vulnerable like a fox sniffing out a hare and rub her nose in it, the same woman who made her cut up coach to teach her a lesson. i know you like girls. like every other yellowjacket, apparently.
it's not shauna, though. it's melissa. nat answers the door smelling very slightly like pot from rolling a joint, her eyes squinted. she's never been able to outgrow the feeling of the girls all being hers, being their democratic queen, not exactly elected, but sworn allegiance to. so it pangs, to see melissa's eyes all red and teary, her cheeks flushed, her expression obvious: heartbreak, betrayal, two sides of the same bitter coin. frowning, nat nods, opening the door wider. )
No, come on. ( inside, her room is about what you would expect — a wasteland of abandoned travis shirts and drug paraphernalia, cds laid out vulnerably on top of their cases. ) You, uh. You alright, Mel? You kinda look like shit. I mean — no offense, just ... what happened? ( trying not to be angry, ) Did someone hurt you?
it's not shauna, though. it's melissa. nat answers the door smelling very slightly like pot from rolling a joint, her eyes squinted. she's never been able to outgrow the feeling of the girls all being hers, being their democratic queen, not exactly elected, but sworn allegiance to. so it pangs, to see melissa's eyes all red and teary, her cheeks flushed, her expression obvious: heartbreak, betrayal, two sides of the same bitter coin. frowning, nat nods, opening the door wider. )
No, come on. ( inside, her room is about what you would expect — a wasteland of abandoned travis shirts and drug paraphernalia, cds laid out vulnerably on top of their cases. ) You, uh. You alright, Mel? You kinda look like shit. I mean — no offense, just ... what happened? ( trying not to be angry, ) Did someone hurt you?
( i saw. nat doesn't insult her by pretending not to know what she's talking about — there can only be one answer, one fragile, painful truth that nat has been too much of a coward to tell her about herself. too scared of shauna, too uninterested in responsibility, too pained by the reality of what she took part in, too happy to have jackie back for however brief a time. a child's imaginary play, like dolls in a dollhouse. eventually, reality had to set in — now, here, it does.
they ate jackie, like a roast rabbit. sucked on her bones. pretended not to lick their fingers.
they didn't tell her. natalie didn't. the fantasy of not doing it was too sweet to deny. )
i'm sorry
they ate jackie, like a roast rabbit. sucked on her bones. pretended not to lick their fingers.
they didn't tell her. natalie didn't. the fantasy of not doing it was too sweet to deny. )
i'm sorry
Just saw a gecko that looked like you
[ What happened to hi, how are you, did you make it out of the fire without waking up six feet under?
Attached: thisisyou.jpg. ]
[ What happened to hi, how are you, did you make it out of the fire without waking up six feet under?
Attached: thisisyou.jpg. ]
[his life without his memories, real memories, had been good. picture perfect good. a father that loved him and a girlfriend he was devoted to and a sports team that thought he was the best, and he felt the best, too. he felt like he had the world in the palm of his hand. when the month ends and reality hits like the worst kind of stack of bricks he's ever felt in his life, he remembers a truth that has stuck throughout each timeline: he has nat.
he feels older. he recalls how his father-not-father, homelander, had steadied his confidence his entire upbringing and taught him how to be the best person he could be. how he has the capability to use those traits now, even if what he went through was a cultivated, manipulated life. he has those traits inside of him.
nat is taken by the hand. drawn in between his legs where he sits in the loveseat by the window so he can look up at her and her look down at him, so the sun catches her faces and gleams in her eyes.]
Can I ask you something I should've asked you a really long time ago?
he feels older. he recalls how his father-not-father, homelander, had steadied his confidence his entire upbringing and taught him how to be the best person he could be. how he has the capability to use those traits now, even if what he went through was a cultivated, manipulated life. he has those traits inside of him.
nat is taken by the hand. drawn in between his legs where he sits in the loveseat by the window so he can look up at her and her look down at him, so the sun catches her faces and gleams in her eyes.]
Can I ask you something I should've asked you a really long time ago?
Edited 2025-08-11 03:19 (UTC)
I'm listening.
( murmured more than said, implying the exact opposite of her words. she is here, present — but she's also somewhere closer than that, soaking in travis' attention, memorizing the new freckles on his nose the sun decided to pull out from hiding. she loves trav in the summertime — loves the quiet stability of somewhere warm to be, loves the sound of vibrating cicadas and rustling leaves somewhere far in the distance, everything suntouched and alive. even and especially travis himself, who seems more lively in the time following the weird month — as opposed to nat, who's just
at least glad that if the searing shit pile of her life is permanent in every different world she might live in, at least one good thing found in travis is perpetual too. she extends one of her hands from his hold, cupping his cheek, feeling about a decade older than she is. confident, somehow, that girls her age don't feel about boys the way she feels about travis. forever feelings. the confidence in the goodness of them. she gives him a smile, playful. )
Are you about to be really sweet?
( murmured more than said, implying the exact opposite of her words. she is here, present — but she's also somewhere closer than that, soaking in travis' attention, memorizing the new freckles on his nose the sun decided to pull out from hiding. she loves trav in the summertime — loves the quiet stability of somewhere warm to be, loves the sound of vibrating cicadas and rustling leaves somewhere far in the distance, everything suntouched and alive. even and especially travis himself, who seems more lively in the time following the weird month — as opposed to nat, who's just
at least glad that if the searing shit pile of her life is permanent in every different world she might live in, at least one good thing found in travis is perpetual too. she extends one of her hands from his hold, cupping his cheek, feeling about a decade older than she is. confident, somehow, that girls her age don't feel about boys the way she feels about travis. forever feelings. the confidence in the goodness of them. she gives him a smile, playful. )
Are you about to be really sweet?
nat. what's the last thing you remember from home?
Hey, niblet.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there. When I said I’d be. Know it was on account of being dead and all—again—but I told you I’d protect you, and I didn’t.
Sorry I wasn’t all there last month, either. Still a little sideways. Ghosts knocking around in my head.
But I’ve got you, much as I can do. You need anything, I’m here now. Promise.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there. When I said I’d be. Know it was on account of being dead and all—again—but I told you I’d protect you, and I didn’t.
Sorry I wasn’t all there last month, either. Still a little sideways. Ghosts knocking around in my head.
But I’ve got you, much as I can do. You need anything, I’m here now. Promise.
( okay? she thinks about it. the biggest problem is nat herself, she knows — she's the one with the problem, causing the fights, being explosive, having emotions. the rest? she's not sure. they don't really talk, they just do. fight or flight in that way. so, )
we'll be fine
what's up? i don't recognize your un
we'll be fine
what's up? i don't recognize your un
Not one to make a public scene like those letters. Used to be, I guess.
But you’ll see this when you’re back. Know I’ve apologized for failing you already, and I failed you again. Sorry doesn’t really cut it.
We’ll get you back in one piece, Nat. Promise.
Love you.
But you’ll see this when you’re back. Know I’ve apologized for failing you already, and I failed you again. Sorry doesn’t really cut it.
We’ll get you back in one piece, Nat. Promise.
Love you.
[ He debates not saying anything when he finds the gift, or token, or curse — he can't tell which, just that the golden amulet smells like Natalie, the scent he picked up during prom, during the afternoons spent playing games in the crypt, the night he lured her outside with a dream and carried her in his arms like he was taking her back to bed. The last makes his guts twist the most, the ones before that just make his heart ache, because they're good memories, and they're all ruined now. He ruined her, ruined everyone who loved her, he ruined everything.
That's why he debates pretending he doesn't know who it's from, but curiosity eats him up. And maybe it's not his right to talk to the girl he killed for the first time with a why did you give me a necklace, so instead he opens up with what she's really owed, the debt he's been too much of a coward to pay. ]
I'm sorry
That's why he debates pretending he doesn't know who it's from, but curiosity eats him up. And maybe it's not his right to talk to the girl he killed for the first time with a why did you give me a necklace, so instead he opens up with what she's really owed, the debt he's been too much of a coward to pay. ]
I'm sorry
( maybe, if nat was smart, she might've expected some necessary confrontation between them eventually. even now, it feels inevitable, even if she would've been perfectly fine to never acknowledge it. but for a few minutes she just stares at the message in her phone, not really comprehending it, letting her mind go somewhere else entirely, not accepting reality. i'm sorry dom says, and nat thinks me too. for that fire you hated me for that sent travis home, for bringing us to that fucked place — for kickstarting the game that made you an animal, just because i wanted out. because i wanted to save jackie.
none of that comes out, though. it takes a little while before she gets feeling back in her thumbs, enough to type out her message. )
i know
it's cool
( she wonders if he remembers that he was kind to her while he killed her — she wonders if that might soothe him to know. eventually, she figures, probably not. )
what's up?
none of that comes out, though. it takes a little while before she gets feeling back in her thumbs, enough to type out her message. )
i know
it's cool
( she wonders if he remembers that he was kind to her while he killed her — she wonders if that might soothe him to know. eventually, she figures, probably not. )
what's up?
[a little after this conversation, saber decides to poke the bear.]
hey nat, can i call ya nattie? remember me?
if you don't that's okay
saber tooth. my name gets around doesn't it? i've been talking to shauna. you on good or bad terms with her right now? you wanna be on better ones?
hey nat, can i call ya nattie? remember me?
if you don't that's okay
saber tooth. my name gets around doesn't it? i've been talking to shauna. you on good or bad terms with her right now? you wanna be on better ones?
[ Boobies. But classy, kind of. ]
It's cold. Don't suppose you've got any fire power in that big arsenal of yours, do you?
It's cold. Don't suppose you've got any fire power in that big arsenal of yours, do you?
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