[ He debates not saying anything when he finds the gift, or token, or curse — he can't tell which, just that the golden amulet smells like Natalie, the scent he picked up during prom, during the afternoons spent playing games in the crypt, the night he lured her outside with a dream and carried her in his arms like he was taking her back to bed. The last makes his guts twist the most, the ones before that just make his heart ache, because they're good memories, and they're all ruined now. He ruined her, ruined everyone who loved her, he ruined everything.
That's why he debates pretending he doesn't know who it's from, but curiosity eats him up. And maybe it's not his right to talk to the girl he killed for the first time with a why did you give me a necklace, so instead he opens up with what she's really owed, the debt he's been too much of a coward to pay. ]
( maybe, if nat was smart, she might've expected some necessary confrontation between them eventually. even now, it feels inevitable, even if she would've been perfectly fine to never acknowledge it. but for a few minutes she just stares at the message in her phone, not really comprehending it, letting her mind go somewhere else entirely, not accepting reality. i'm sorry dom says, and nat thinks me too. for that fire you hated me for that sent travis home, for bringing us to that fucked place — for kickstarting the game that made you an animal, just because i wanted out. because i wanted to save jackie.
none of that comes out, though. it takes a little while before she gets feeling back in her thumbs, enough to type out her message. )
i know it's cool
( she wonders if he remembers that he was kind to her while he killed her — she wonders if that might soothe him to know. eventually, she figures, probably not. )
it was jackie's. then it was shauna's. then it was mine. now it's yours.
it was kinda like when we were out there in the wilderness i think we just went kind of fucking crazy. from starving and from being forgotten. we made up our own rules. like who gets to be in charge. what we do. that kinda thing we played this game when we were really hungry. like when we could feel our stomachs eating themselves. we had to make a choice. someone had to go so the rest could survive. we had this deck of cards, and you pull a card in a circle, until someone gets the queen of hearts that person gets hunted
i pulled it. just once and they hunted me down. but — i didn't die, and i think it's the necklace that saved me. like jackie saved me, even though she was already dead, or something travis' little brother javi died instead of me. and then they all acted like the wilderness chose me somehow. like that necklace was a crown, or something. like i got chosen and not dying was all part of it. some ritual i passed they started calling me queen like i wasn't just at the sharp end of the knife they all loved me for a little while
( then, like everyone invariably does — they stopped. )
[ For a long time, Dom doesn't know what to say. It explains so much, but it leaves him with so many questions, too. Natalie describes what they all did to one another and Dom wonders if that's how they all felt at the commune; if they were just back in that place, hunting, chasing, surviving. Then he wonders how Natalie must have felt, to know that her attempt to free everyone only brought them back to a prison in the middle of the woods, with rituals painted in blood and death. ]
I'm sorry I didn't mean to hate u when u burned the house I never actually wanted to hurt u
[ Or to hunt her down, really. She'd challenged (asked?) him to do it and he couldn't. Wouldn't. Until the game possessed him, Dom would've never gone after anyone as himself. It's the wolf in him has always wanted to hurt, kill, rip apart for no reason other than instinct. ]
Thank u for the necklace But I don't know if I'm supposed to be saved
[ It's his turn to accept whatever's coming to him. Hers was the fire. His was the destruction of three lives, the grief their loved ones felt. ]
( because dom's good, despite what this place made him do. and honestly — he could've killed nat with his eyes wide open, and still manage to be a good person. he's allowed to hate her. she certainly does. )
well i don't want anything to happen to you and you owe me that
( after a long, long wait. so long dom might think she isn't answering his question — still, it eventually comes. a text that sounds like it's whispered. it's nat crying in the woods, loud and ugly, and none of the girls hearing. it's desolation. the loss of hope. )
i don't know what to do i tried to help and all it did was hurt people and lose trav
[ It's... one way to reach him. One that doesn't seem compatible with what he did, with what he deserves. There's more people forgiving him than the ones that look at him and say it was his fault, and — he doesn't know how or why. He doesn't know that he'll ever be able to do the same, no matter how much distance time places between him and the wolf that took over, but he can at least try. For her. ]
I don't know if it matters to u anymore But I still think the heart was a trap And I don't know if it was the reverend who set it
If u ever want to Maybe we could figure out who did it to u
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text, un: dom
That's why he debates pretending he doesn't know who it's from, but curiosity eats him up. And maybe it's not his right to talk to the girl he killed for the first time with a why did you give me a necklace, so instead he opens up with what she's really owed, the debt he's been too much of a coward to pay. ]
I'm sorry
no subject
none of that comes out, though. it takes a little while before she gets feeling back in her thumbs, enough to type out her message. )
i know
it's cool
( she wonders if he remembers that he was kind to her while he killed her — she wonders if that might soothe him to know. eventually, she figures, probably not. )
what's up?
no subject
Not much
[ Actually, ]
Nothing
I was wondering
Did u leave me something?
no subject
( how could he possibly know that? because you don't know everything about him, natalie. you don't know everything. )
yeah
sorry
it's not special or anything
i mean it's just a necklace
no subject
[ Never in her life, never again. ]
It's really nice
I think my moms would like it
Can I give it to them when I go home?
no subject
( it's nice to think, that he has somewhere to go to. moms that love him.
still, when natalie said it wasn't special? that wasn't exactly the truth. )
well
you might not want to. not sure
i'll tell you about the necklace. it's a little fucked but like
what isn't, right?
no subject
If u want to
1/3
then it was mine. now it's yours.
it was kinda like
when we were out there in the wilderness i think we just went kind of fucking crazy. from starving and from being forgotten. we made up our own rules. like
who gets to be in charge. what we do. that kinda thing
we played this game when we were really hungry. like
when we could feel our stomachs eating themselves. we had to make a choice. someone had to go so the rest could survive.
we had this deck of cards, and you pull a card in a circle, until someone gets the queen of hearts
that person gets hunted
2/3
and they hunted me down. but — i didn't die, and i think it's the necklace that saved me. like jackie saved me, even though she was already dead, or something
travis' little brother javi died instead of me. and then they all acted like the wilderness chose me somehow. like that necklace was a crown, or something. like i got chosen and not dying was all part of it. some ritual i passed
they started calling me queen like i wasn't just at the sharp end of the knife
they all loved me for a little while
( then, like everyone invariably does — they stopped. )
3/3
but the girls respect the necklace
i think if you wear it you'll be safe from them
no subject
I'm sorry
I didn't mean to hate u when u burned the house
I never actually wanted to hurt u
[ Or to hunt her down, really. She'd challenged (asked?) him to do it and he couldn't. Wouldn't. Until the game possessed him, Dom would've never gone after anyone as himself. It's the wolf in him has always wanted to hurt, kill, rip apart for no reason other than instinct. ]
Thank u for the necklace
But I don't know if I'm supposed to be saved
[ It's his turn to accept whatever's coming to him. Hers was the fire. His was the destruction of three lives, the grief their loved ones felt. ]
Are u going to look for the heart again?
1/2
( because dom's good, despite what this place made him do. and honestly — he could've killed nat with his eyes wide open, and still manage to be a good person. he's allowed to hate her. she certainly does. )
well i don't want anything to happen to you
and you owe me that
2/2
i don't know what to do
i tried to help and all it did was hurt people and lose trav
so i guess i give up
no subject
I don't know if it matters to u anymore
But I still think the heart was a trap
And I don't know if it was the reverend who set it
If u ever want to
Maybe we could figure out who did it to u
Do u know what a locator spell is?
no subject
to locate something?
i don't know anything about magic
no subject
Something or someone
But we need an item that belonged to it
Did u take anything when u found it?
no subject
( well — )
but i got some of its blood on my clothes
no subject
Blood works
Even better than an item actually